Wednesday, February 6, 2008
"And God Said Unto Colorado...I’m Covered in Fuckin Bees!"
Thank you for your Time Folks, Word Savvy sonnet writer Ryan here to tell you that:
GUTTERMOUTH IS COMING BACK TO COLORADO!!!
...and if you didn't know that already then you've obviously been living under a rather large and geologically old rock...
BUT...WE DON'T CARE...COLORADO HERE WE COME
Now: for those of you who are loyal subscribers to our semi-regular edition of
"Guttermouth Memories"
I offer to you the first (and possibly only) hot healthy serving of:
"Guttermouth Memories that Ryan Remembered Way the Fuck After the Tour Ended"
COLORADO: Dateline...February 2007
Mark got tackled in Denver by some dick...way to start a tour. Adkins had blue and purple bruises all up and down himself throughout the entire lot...have you ever heard Mark Adkins complain?
Oh of course you have, You're fans!
Mark got hit in the face with a bottle at the Aggie Theater In Fort Collins...he bled, he swayed and fell over, and then he sang...he sang like a bird. Way to play with pain Mark, way to take one for the Team big guy!
Aspen is full of Assholes, except for everyone who was at our show. Mark, Timmy the Turtle, and I went to see Clint Eastwood's Magnum Opus "Letter's From Iwo Jima" and left the theater giggling because one of the Horses in the film was named "Uranus"
Something about Sherpa and Yeti's in Breckinridge...I swear, there was something...It's on the tip of my tongue...oh yeah, YOU PEOPLE ARE SCUM, STOP SPITTING ON US..Uh...Vail Kicked ass! oh yes it freakin did. As did Colorado Springs...crazy bunch that lives in that town
And...Mark and I spent the last leg of the tour in Vegas gambling at the Asian themed place on the strip that has the "Dealertainers"
...you know the Elvis and Marilyn and James Dean bastards dealing 21 on the casino floor?
AND NOW WE COME TO OUR 2008 TOUR SWEEPSTAKES!!!
for the life of me I cannot remember the name of the place...
If you are the first to name it, then you and three friends have got yourselves FREE PASSES to the 2008 Colorado Snow tour show of your choice! I may even convince Mark to give you some clothes or stuff, we'll see
Pretty good huh...told you I was a nice guy, Ha!
Until soon my Friends, Ryan
GUTTERMOUTH IS COMING BACK TO COLORADO!!!
...and if you didn't know that already then you've obviously been living under a rather large and geologically old rock...
BUT...WE DON'T CARE...COLORADO HERE WE COME
Now: for those of you who are loyal subscribers to our semi-regular edition of
"Guttermouth Memories"
I offer to you the first (and possibly only) hot healthy serving of:
"Guttermouth Memories that Ryan Remembered Way the Fuck After the Tour Ended"
COLORADO: Dateline...February 2007
Mark got tackled in Denver by some dick...way to start a tour. Adkins had blue and purple bruises all up and down himself throughout the entire lot...have you ever heard Mark Adkins complain?
Oh of course you have, You're fans!
Mark got hit in the face with a bottle at the Aggie Theater In Fort Collins...he bled, he swayed and fell over, and then he sang...he sang like a bird. Way to play with pain Mark, way to take one for the Team big guy!
Aspen is full of Assholes, except for everyone who was at our show. Mark, Timmy the Turtle, and I went to see Clint Eastwood's Magnum Opus "Letter's From Iwo Jima" and left the theater giggling because one of the Horses in the film was named "Uranus"
Something about Sherpa and Yeti's in Breckinridge...I swear, there was something...It's on the tip of my tongue...oh yeah, YOU PEOPLE ARE SCUM, STOP SPITTING ON US..Uh...Vail Kicked ass! oh yes it freakin did. As did Colorado Springs...crazy bunch that lives in that town
And...Mark and I spent the last leg of the tour in Vegas gambling at the Asian themed place on the strip that has the "Dealertainers"
...you know the Elvis and Marilyn and James Dean bastards dealing 21 on the casino floor?
AND NOW WE COME TO OUR 2008 TOUR SWEEPSTAKES!!!
for the life of me I cannot remember the name of the place...
If you are the first to name it, then you and three friends have got yourselves FREE PASSES to the 2008 Colorado Snow tour show of your choice! I may even convince Mark to give you some clothes or stuff, we'll see
Pretty good huh...told you I was a nice guy, Ha!
Until soon my Friends, Ryan
Monday, January 28, 2008
San Diego and Mexico Part 1
Did you know in Mexico the horses are fed on a steady diet of trash? Also apparently you can't take a piss in T.J with out it flooding the streets.
That's right Mark and Ryan treated me to my first trip to Mexico to top off our weekend binge of the south.
It started with our last minute show at 4th and B for ASR w/ Agent Orange. The show was fun and of course it wouldn't be a show without Ferral puking 1 hour old boneless buffalo wings on my foot.
So we stayed in good old San diego in some hotel overlooking giant boats, and started off the next day with about 10 or so margarita's and pina colada's. Then our friend Bri convinced the owners of this dump to let her wear an apron and carry out our next round, in which after she yelled "guess who got hired bitches!!" spilled every one on the ground breaking glass next to some old scotch drinking sea hags.
We then decided to rent some four wheel bike contraption with a canopy on it and gave mark a purple helmet and let him take the helm. We shot off onto the boardwalk to the dismay of.... well everybody, and charged toward the entrance of ASR and tried to run over every skater we saw before being escorted off the property.
Then we took the shit-storm to Mexico.
That's right Mark and Ryan treated me to my first trip to Mexico to top off our weekend binge of the south.
It started with our last minute show at 4th and B for ASR w/ Agent Orange. The show was fun and of course it wouldn't be a show without Ferral puking 1 hour old boneless buffalo wings on my foot.
So we stayed in good old San diego in some hotel overlooking giant boats, and started off the next day with about 10 or so margarita's and pina colada's. Then our friend Bri convinced the owners of this dump to let her wear an apron and carry out our next round, in which after she yelled "guess who got hired bitches!!" spilled every one on the ground breaking glass next to some old scotch drinking sea hags.
We then decided to rent some four wheel bike contraption with a canopy on it and gave mark a purple helmet and let him take the helm. We shot off onto the boardwalk to the dismay of.... well everybody, and charged toward the entrance of ASR and tried to run over every skater we saw before being escorted off the property.
Then we took the shit-storm to Mexico.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
And we begin with a lesson...
A short but simple musing of culinary etiquette my friends:
Remember:
White wine with Chicken or fish
Red Wine with red meat
Pork or Heavy fish (i.e. Tuna) use your own well seasoned discretion, I recommend a mature Pinot Noir
For those shopping for a cheap alternative to the 500 dollar plate jet set option:
Eat Laughing Cow Creamy Swiss flavor cheese with cheap Black Swan Shiraz Wine...you won't regret it
you fucking scamps
Remember:
White wine with Chicken or fish
Red Wine with red meat
Pork or Heavy fish (i.e. Tuna) use your own well seasoned discretion, I recommend a mature Pinot Noir
For those shopping for a cheap alternative to the 500 dollar plate jet set option:
Eat Laughing Cow Creamy Swiss flavor cheese with cheap Black Swan Shiraz Wine...you won't regret it
you fucking scamps
Why the hell not?
This is our new blog page. Yes we jumped on the bandwagon, and yes now you get to hear about how uninteresting our lives really are.
Kev
Kev
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